Everyday Dirtbag Entry #16.

Went to Moolak’s trad crag with The Underwear Model yesterday and not only did I fall on the route he sent, but I fell, broke off a foot hold, missed another foot hold, and swung around a huge corner.  And I couldn’t get back.  50-feet off the deck, hanging 180-feet from the top, I had to swing in just to reach the rock – and the only thing I could get to was an unclimbed seam.

Here’s where the excuses could start:

The seam was probably rated…

I was sore from…

I didn’t feel good because my…

I got stung by a…

But the truth is this:  I got worked.  I was pathetic.  Only fifteen feet of climbing later and I was reduced to a quivering, hyperventilating mass of total worthlessness.  That one small section of rock turned me into a tosser, a n00b, a punter, a gumby.

I was standing on the ledge afterwards, still only halfway through the first pitch, making a sound that could have been called whimpering or crying (although I deny both), wishing somehow that I could retrieve all our cams without having to actually climb anything.  I was creating complex rappel and retrieval systems in my mind when The Underwear Model yelled, “You’re doing this, dude.  Just get back on the route.”

And I have never suffered like I suffered in those next 165 feet.

It was a perfect day.


One thought on “Everyday Dirtbag Entry #16.

  1. Sometimes the runway feels 230 feet long, but I have to tell myself “stay cool, relax, breath, it’s only 34 feet long-18 each way.”


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