Rant #7.

Adults who change their names:

I’ll admit it.  I have a hard time learning names.  It takes me a while.  I’m better with faces.  But once I’ve got a name down, I remember it.  It’s stuck.  Forever.  And that’s why  I have such a hard time with adults who change their names.

It goes like this:

My wife’s friend is named Joan or Jane.  I’m not sure which.  I trail off when I say her name.  “Hi, Jao….”

Then another friend says, “I just remember that it’s Plain Jane.  I say Plain Jane in my head.”

“Plain Jane.  Perfect.  I can remember that.”  And I do.  Her name’s Plain Jane.  Just Jane.  I’ve got it.  Jane.  Jane forever.

A few weeks later, I run into her at a coffee shop.  I walk up confidently.  “Hi, Jane,” I say.  “How are you?

She frowns.  “I changed my name to Christine a month ago.  Everyone calls me Christine now.”

I get awkward.  I suddenly pretend to be in a big hurry.  “Yeah,” I say, “I’ve gotta get to this thing that I have to do right now or I’ll be really late to that…to it…to the thing.  I’m sorry.”  I walk out with my head down.

In the car afterwards, I think to myself, was it Kristin or Christine?  Kristin or Christine?

Damn it.

End of rant.


2 thoughts on “Rant #7.

  1. Commenter Rant on a Similar Subject:

    I love it when parents get bent out of shape when you call their kid by an obvious nickname. If you name your son Andrew, you should probably be ok with him being called Andy or Drew once in a while. You get the very condescending, “His name is not Andy. It’s Andrew”. That is so much fun.

    I hear some of our friends are thinking of naming their son William Robert. I should probably just avoid them for the rest of my life.

    End of Commenter Rant on a Similar Subject


  2. BOY BLUE Rant #1

    The kind of men who drive Mustangs……

    are not real men at all.

    Mustangs are the physical outlet for the inverted occurrence of male menopause….

    If you turn forty and suddenly have a hankering to buy a mustang…you have the reached the male equivalency of not being able to produce babies anymore….

    The best age range, however, for men to buy a mustang lies between the ages of 20 and 32….where men buy these cars to look cool and impress others but instead just show how incapable they are of attracting the opposite sex…..or the same sex…….WHATEVER…..YOU LOOK STUPID.

    the same comments can be made about camaros, H2s, H3s

    -Charlie ( or the man formerly known as ellis )


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