Adults who change their names:
I’ll admit it. I have a hard time learning names. It takes me a while. I’m better with faces. But once I’ve got a name down, I remember it. It’s stuck. Forever. And that’s why I have such a hard time with adults who change their names.
It goes like this:
My wife’s friend is named Joan or Jane. I’m not sure which. I trail off when I say her name. “Hi, Jao….”
Then another friend says, “I just remember that it’s Plain Jane. I say Plain Jane in my head.”
“Plain Jane. Perfect. I can remember that.” And I do. Her name’s Plain Jane. Just Jane. I’ve got it. Jane. Jane forever.
A few weeks later, I run into her at a coffee shop. I walk up confidently. “Hi, Jane,” I say. “How are you?
She frowns. “I changed my name to Christine a month ago. Everyone calls me Christine now.”
I get awkward. I suddenly pretend to be in a big hurry. “Yeah,” I say, “I’ve gotta get to this thing that I have to do right now or I’ll be really late to that…to it…to the thing. I’m sorry.” I walk out with my head down.
In the car afterwards, I think to myself, was it Kristin or Christine? Kristin or Christine?
End of rant.