Everyday Dirtbag Entry #61.


I was at a Christmas party the other night.  It’s that time of year.  And Christmas parties are great – drink alcohol with mere acquaintances, talk about what you do for a living, complain about some political trend, you know what I mean…

So I ran into a childhood friend, and had an idea to spice up the party – at least for us.  I said, “Hey, I’ve got a challenge.”

He said, “What.”  He didn’t seem interested or excited.  He was holding a beer.

Clandestine Push-Ups.” I waved my hands in front of my face like one of those magicians on a Fox Channel magic show.  “What do you think?”

“Clandestine push-ups?”

“Yeah.  We each see how many push-ups we can do tonight.  But here are the rules.  #1, if anyone sees you do a single push-up, you’re out.  #2, no push-ups in the bathroom or with the door closed.  #3, sets can be of any number (5 or 50) – but the longer the set, the more likely that you’ll get caught.  #4, last rule, we have until 11:00.  Highest number wins.”

“Highest number wins?”

“Yeah.  What do you think?  Clandestine Push-Ups.”  I said the title one last time.

But then my friend took a long swig of beer and said something INEXPLICABLE :

He said, “Why would we do that?”



Door-jamb finger-tip pull-ups?

Upper-deck campus laps?  5 points each lap?

I really don’t know how to explain what I do or what I like to do.

If I have to explain, you don’t understand.


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