When 8-feet of columnar basalt fell off of the left side of the route “Limp Dick” last year, a new extension became possible. Somehow, I didn’t notice it until last week. Then looking at the seams above “Crack-A-No-Go”, I saw that the top of the new shortened “Limp Dick” (or “Circumcise Limp Dick” as my-only-friend-in-the-entire-world-Jeff-Hess called it) led directly to a 16-foot section of more difficult climbing, a boulder problem that could be added to the old route.
I rappelled down, pulling moss, weeds, sticks, mud, and basalt shards out of the crack. Then tried the moves, and they were doable.
As I prepared to lead the line, a combination of “Limp Dick” and its
bouldery extension, I started thinking about a potential name for the route.
Hmm, if there’s a new extension to “Limp Dick”…
Think, Peter, think.
“Limp Dick Extends”?
“When a Limp Dick Goes Long”?
“When Limp Dick Gets Hard”?
Almost, but no.
I mentioned my name trouble to Spin and Ty Ty.
And Ty Ty said, “I know. The route should be called Viagra.”
So yesterday, I sent on lead. And “Viagra” it is. All credit to Ty Ty.
Now, if THE Underwear Model and my-only-friend-in-the-entire- world-Jeff-Hess will also send the route, we’ll be able to rate it.
By the way, while talking in the hall this morning at school, I discovered that saying the sentence, “The crack was really thin above Limp Dick,” gets a person some weird looks.