Everyday Dirtbag Entry #106.

Sometimes a person just has to do things the right way. Thus, last night’s dirtbag-a-thon.

I was invited to my brother-in-law’s birthday party at a place named Cornucopia. I’d never been there, but the name sounded snooty. I was told that we were supposed “to have drinks”. Hang out as men. So I decided to do things in style right from the start.

As a list of 13 (a beautiful prime number), my dirtbag night:

1) I wore dirty clothes.

2) I road my bike.

3) I went to a local 7-Eleven.

4) I bought their cheapest six-pack of pounders (Keystone Light at $4.49).

5) I buildered on the back of a restaurant next to the 7- Eleven (mortered sandstones with half-pad edges).

6) Between climbing sets, I poured two Keystones in the Nalgene bottle I’d found at the Columns last week.

7) When my forearms were burnt, I rode my bike to THE illustrious Cornucopia restaurant.

8) I gave my brother-in-law a used book that I’d already read (Cormac McCarthy’s Outer Dark).

9) I accepted and smoked an American Spirit cigarette even though I don’t smoke.

10) I drank my own water-bottle beer and purchased nothing from THE Cornucopia.

11) I went across the street and peed in another restaurant I wasn’t patroning.

12) I ate graham crackers I found in an old bag at the bottom of my backpack.

13) I finished someone else’s Jack and Coke and went home.

Today I feel better about the whole world.


One thought on “Everyday Dirtbag Entry #106.

  1. I don’t know why there’s an emoticon for my #8, but I tried to fix it and I can’t. That’s got to be a sign of the apocalypse.


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