Shit I Write Like A Teenager

Because I teach high school kids, I think I can do this:

I wuz grading frishman essays the othur day and this ked was rittin a sturee abowt one tyme whin he put paynt in a bulloon and wayted fur his nayber to cum out of his howse so thet he cud drop the paynt bulloon on the naybers hedd becuz the nayber wuz a totill jurk and the kid wuz waytinn on the roof to throe it frum ther and the kid discribed how he wayted and wayted and the day wuz rillee rillee hot and all uv the sturee wuz pritty gud rittin and it had grayt deetills but I wuz havin trubble reeding it becuz ther wuz no punctuayshun and the spelling wuz seeriusslee hurrible and I kept thinking thet I wonted to stranggle hiz graydskull teecher or hiz middelskull teecher or hiz perrants or sumbuddy hooever it wuz hoo dednt teech him to ritt at sum aje and how to writt pruperllee becuz wutt am I suppozd to do with this kid now?

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