Failing Writer #28.

The Boston Review wrote:

“Dear peter brown hoffmeister,

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to review “Downbursts.” We have given your work close consideration and find that it does not suit our present needs. We wish you success in placing it elsewhere. Thank you for thinking of Boston Review.

Sincerely,

The Editors of Boston Review”

If I was a paranoid writer – but obviously I’m not – I would have read the letter like this:

Dear peter brown hoffmeister,

Thank you for wasting our time with your trite story “Downbursts.” We had a grad student review your work and she said that she has a little sister who could do better. We waited until Easter to reject this, hoping you would forever associate an international holiday with your own personal rejection, and, perhaps, give up writing for lent next year.  We wish you success in quitting. Please buy a copy of the Boston Review.

Sincerely,

The Editors of Boston Review

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