On Not Owning A Cell Phone

So maybe I don’t like cell phones. At all. Maybe I don’t think they’ve added anything to our culture.

Maybe I think they’ve ruined a lot of things too, like, for example, talking to other people, hanging out without interruptions, driving cars, looking around at the world around us, going outside, being self-sufficient, knowing how to read a map, looking up every once in a while instead of staring at your stupid expensive phone, looking people in the eyes, using dictionaries, reading books on the Subway, reading books without stopping every two minutes to check a text, listening to music while staring off…

This list could go on and on and on.

Plus, I hate every cell phone advertisement ever. Why do we need phones? Why do we need them with us everywhere we go? Why does every family need a “family plan”? Why do we willingly carry a device that tracks where we are? And would we readily accept chips in our brains if they were offered to us? I think so.

Maybe my opinions are too strong, but I’ve never owned a cell phone, and here’s my new essay for Vice Magazine titled “Confessions Of The Last Human Being On Earth Without A Cell Phone” :

Click to read.

Bonus: The artist Jack Graydon drew some ridiculous pictures of me to go along with the article. I’m so ugly in these drawings that it’s awesome.

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4 thoughts on “On Not Owning A Cell Phone

  1. Is this your problem with cell phones or people who use cell phones? Maybe I’m a little biased because I’m someone who uses his phone plenty but I think there are way more dimensions you’re not giving credit. I use my phone to read books because I don’t have many opportunities to buy or check out things that I am interested in reading. I also use it to check my heart rate and keep in contact with a lot of my friends who don’t have computers. I use my phone half again as much as I use my own computer because that’s really just what it is – a tiny machine that computes things.

    I wouldn’t judge someone for using a MacBook, because I don’t see how it’s any different.

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    • I read the article and I’m surprised at all the negative feedback! People think you’re attacking them for owning phones and I just want you to know that I don’t really care who does or doesn’t have one; everyone has their reasons.

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    • You’re right. There’s so much I don’t cover in the cell phone piece. Reading on phones is a great use of technology. Nothing wrong with that.

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    • Also, the difference between a phone and a MacBook is that a MacBook isn’t always with me (or is almost never with me to be accurate) so I’m not tethered to technology, don’t check email all the time. Phones draw attention away from everything. People are always checking them.

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