10 Questions After The Ferguson Grand Jury’s Decision

After last night’s decision in Ferguson, Missouri, I have a ten quick questions:

1. If I shoot an unarmed police officer 6 times, does that count as murder?

2. If a black police officer shoots a white teenager, is that murder?

3. Is it possible to shoot a police officer in self-defense?

4. Are those “injuries” on police officer Darren Wilson’s body truly injuries?

5. Why does Wilson look less beat up than I do after playing two-hand touch football with my nephews?

6. If this shooting took place in an Eastern city, would the verdict be any different?

7. Is anyone surprised that the grand jury decided not to indict?

8. Does anyone else feel like this decision was coming for weeks?

9. If a white man goes into a movie theater wearing body armor and carrying an AR-15 rifle, a shotgun, and two .40-caliber pistols, throws tear gas into the crowd, pulls out his guns, starts shooting, kills 12 people, and wounds 58 others, will the police take him alive or will he be shot dead?

10. Oh, do I sound pissed off?

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