I just found out that Too Shattered For Mending has been nominated for the 2018 Teen Choice awards because of its starred reviews. This is the book equivalent of the top-200 Billboard songs at the end of the year. Voting starts now and goes through the start of February. If you liked the book, please vote. Also, please share this link with your friends on Facebook and Instagram. I need teens to help promote. Would anyone mind helping me spread the word? Click here to vote!
This is comedy that is not comedy. We are ungrateful, ridiculous humans, people…
“Everything is amazing right now, and nobody’s happy. … Now, we live in an amazing, amazing world, and it’s wasted on the crappiest generation of just spoiled idiots that don’t care. This is what people are like now: they’ve got their phones and they’re like ‘ugh, it won’t–‘ GIVE IT A SECOND! It’s going to SPACE! Can you give it a second to get back from space?? Is the speed of light too slow for you?! I was on an airplane and there was high speed internet. That’s the newest thing I know that exists. And I’m sitting there and they go ‘open up your laptops you can go on the internet,’ and it’s fast, and I’m watching YouTube clips, I’m in an airplane! And then it breaks down, and they apologize that the internet’s not working, and the guy next to me goes ‘ugh, this is bullshit.’ Like how quickly the world owes him something he knew existed only like 10 seconds ago! Flying is the worst one because people come back from flights and they’re telling you their story, and it’s like a horror story. They act like their flight was a cattle car in the 40s in Germany. They’re like, ‘it was the worst day of my life! First of all, we didn’t board for like 20 minutes and then they made us sit there on the runway for 40 minutes! We had to sit there!’ Oh really? What happened next? Did you FLY in the AIR incredibly like a BIRD? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight, you non-contributing zero?! … You’re sitting in a chair in the SKY! Here’s the thing: people say there’s delays. Delays? Really? New York to California in 5 hours. That used to take 30 years! And a bunch of you would die on the way there, and have babies… you’d be a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now, you watch a movie, you take a dump, and you’re home!”
I was thinking about Kirkus going under, about their 5000 book reviews each year, that since 1933 they’d been one of the biggest sources of pre-pub info for libraries, booksellers, agents, and editors. Authors may have hated their viciousness at times, but at least Kirkus actually reviewed books (rather than shameless pandering to celebrity authors’ mediocre books). True reviews are so rare these days. Honestly I hoped for a wicked review of The End of Boys, but instead it was reviewed by very few people. Perhaps, if Kirkus had reviewed it, I would’ve received that nasty slam I hoped for. Who knows though?
And now none of my books will ever be reviewed by Kirkus. Kind of like there being little chance of me being on Oprah. Oh wait…
And although I did sell a couple hundred copies at Borders this summer, I don’t think I’ll sell many more through that chain.
But someone new will come in. And the Kindle Fire is the top selling item on Amazon this week which means more ebooks sold, right? Or maybe not once again. The Kindle Fire does movies, TV, apps, web browsing, games, magazines, email, and on and on. It’s not really about books anymore. Maybe the first Kindles were book readers, but not the latest and the greatest. I know a mother who bought her six-year-old a Kindle so that he could watch movies on the go.